How I Deal With Regret

↓

It’s funny, I don’t think I’ve ever truly felt a deep sense of regret.
(Sorry, I know that’s not the most relatable way to start.)

But it’s the truth. I’m not someone who sits around replaying old mistakes like a highlight reel of failure. If anything, I move on almost too quickly. Not because I’m enlightened or emotionally evolved, but because I’ve learned there’s nothing productive about living in the past. Regret isn’t a place you’re supposed to stay; it’s a place you’re supposed to pass through.

Still, that doesn’t mean I don’t think about the choices I’ve made. I just treat them differently. Instead of letting regret define me, I use it as a kind of personal quality-control system—a way to check how I’m growing, what I could’ve handled better, and what I want to do differently next time.

Here’s how I handle regret when it does show up:

1. I’m brutally honest with myself.

If I messed up, I don’t sugarcoat it. I don’t give myself the “well, technically…” excuses. I look the mistake dead in the face and admit it. There’s something freeing about honesty; it kills the power regret tries to hold over you.

2. I ask: What did this teach me?

Every mistake exposes something: a weakness, a blind spot, a truth you didn’t want to face. Instead of obsessing over the wrong turn, I focus on what I learned from being on that road in the first place.

3. I delete “if only” from my vocabulary.

Those two words will trap you in an endless loop.

If only I didn’t say that.​
​If only I left earlier.​
​If only I knew better.

They get you nowhere. Now I swap them with:

• “Next time I will…”
• “Now that I know this…”

This simple mindset shift—I promise—will make you stop ruminating on past mistakes.

4. I accept that not every path is meant to be walked.

Life isn’t about choosing every opportunity; it’s about choosing the right ones. And as we move forward, we naturally leave some doors closed forever. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

5. I remind myself that a “bad” decision can still lead somewhere good.

A job you shouldn’t have taken. A relationship that fell apart. A major you should’ve never picked. Somehow, they still contribute to who you’re becoming. You can’t separate the “mistakes” from the “successes.” They’re all threads of the same story.

So no, I don’t feel regret in the way most people describe it. I don’t sit with it. I don’t let it eat at me. But I do let it speak—briefly—before I move on.

Regret is not a prison in which you are trapped. You don't need to live in it. As long as you keep choosing to learn instead of linger, I think you'll be okay.

Until next week,

—Wyatt