This story will likely be one of the stupidest you’ve ever read; nonetheless, I think it provides valuable insight to the ever-dreaded word: failure.
Last week, I was fortunate enough to partake in a cookie-eating challenge. Now, this wasn’t your average contest. For this, we had to pick either an Oreo or a Chips Ahoy cookie and place it on our forehead. Next—without using our hands—we had to get the cookie into our mouths. The first person to eat the cookie would win.
Like I said, probably one of the weirder things I've done (and that’s saying something for me). Anyway, I watched a few of my peers attempt the challenge, and let me just tell you, it was not a pretty sight. Watching heads and faces move in ways they aren’t supposed to is—let's just say—an interesting experience.
Because I’m weird and didn’t want to be a wimp, I decided to go to the front of the room and see how hard this challenge really was. I was expecting it to be easy, actually. All I had to do was eat a cookie (my fat ass has no problem doing that!)
I was, in fact, very wrong. All the people before me chose to do the Oreo. Since I have this extreme need to be different, I tried the Chips Ahoy cookie.
My first attempt was absolutely miserable. I was bobbing my head, trying to get the cookie to move down my face like an idiot. But every time I bobbed my head, I did it so aggressively that the cookie just flew off my face like a freaking cannonball. I mean seriously, you would’ve thought this cookie had wings or something.
Needless to say, I lost the first round. Of course, this was an incredibly embarrassing activity. Once I failed, you’d think I’d just cut my losses and quit, right? No, not me! I was determined to get this damn cookie in my mouth.
So, my second attempt should’ve been better, right? WRONG. This time, I even went with the Oreo and still couldn't get it to slide down my face. Again, I started bobbing my head like a dashboard bobblehead in a Jeep Wrangler doing 90mph down the highway. Oreos went flying everywhere. Round two was also a loss.
Okay, I should probably give up now. Nope! I’m going to do this. Alright, round three. Now, for this attempt, I tried a softer method. I finally got the Oreo off my big-ass forehead. Now, I just had to get it off my cheek and into my mouth. So, instead of bobbing my head, I tried scrunching and squinting my face. If you walked into this room without knowing what was going on, you’d probably think I had some sort of neurological disorder.
Even with that said, I’m starting to get better at this now. I had the Oreo resting right next to my mouth. All I had to do was slowly jiggle it down. As I did that, I stuck my tongue out, trying to guide the Oreo’s path. I was so close I could taste it! Next thing I know, there’s a shattered Oreo all over the floor. Dang it! Round three, I also lost.
Okay, seriously, now it’s time to give up and go back to my seat. Wrong, I ain’t no quitter.
ROUND FOUR. I’m taking this seriously now. No more screwing around. I got a new Oreo and went back after it.
I slid it down my face, no problem. The Oreo was now resting on my cheek. Here we go. Do or die. This is it. I stuck my tongue out, and as methodically as I could, I guided the Oreo to my mouth.
The Oreo was now teetering on the edge of my lips. SO CLOSE. "Slowly, slowly, slowly," I thought to myself. With some magic touch and the gracefulness of my tongue, the cookie finally fell into my mouth! I did it!
I’ll tell you what, that was the best-tasting Oreo I’ve ever had. Round four tasted like victory.
But that’s the point… Each prior round had to taste like failure so I could finally get to success.
So many others quit on their first try. They made excuses. They were embarrassed. “I’m just not doing that,” they said. But, no, not me.
Although this story seems silly, it provides deeply valuable information. Most people don’t look graceful when they first start out or when they try something they’ve never done before. But the people who always come out on top don’t care. They don’t give two shits about how embarrassing they look. They see failure as nothing more than part of the process. They see it as a part of the recipe to success. If they don’t fail, they won’t succeed.
So many people expect themselves to be perfect when they start. That’s just crazy. You are going to be embarrassingly bad! People will watch you. They will judge you. They will inevitably laugh at you. But you know what? If you can suffer through that, all those little shits eventually call you a genius, a hard worker, and an inspiring individual. That’s just how the world operates. And honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Because of this, I know most people won’t ever be successful simply because they won’t try. Hey, guess what!? That’s fine by me. In fact, you’re making it easier for me to win. Less competition means more chances for people like me.
And look, I promise I’m not saying this to brag or boast. I still struggle with all the things I write about—I am no perfect human being. I am saying this, however, to get you to wake up! Life is way too short to not try, try more, try harder, and never stop trying.
Like I said, this was a silly little story where I failed and persevered even through embarrassment. I want to emphasize “silly” and “little.” If you can’t even be fearless through very small and insignificant things like this, I want you to imagine your dreams and goals—the crap you actually take seriously and care about. How in the world could you possibly accomplish those things without failure?
It’s time for you to wake up!
PS - Here’s an awfully embarrassing photo of me attempting this challenge!
Until next week,
—Wyatt
