My heart was racing. It was my first time crossing the Canadian border. I had no reason to be nervous. I wasn’t smuggling drugs or anything. “I’m an American citizen, and Canadians are supposed to be nice, right?” I thought. Well, let me tell you, not these ones.
I was standing in line at a border crossing building waiting to be questioned and searched. I was probably the 9th or 10th person in line. So, needless to say, my anxiety had plenty of time to shoot through the roof.
Why, you ask? These border patrol officers were not screwing around. They were ruthless. I mean, each person I saw being questioned and searched was being borderline harassed (some pun intended). They were incredibly condescending and extremely scary. To be fair, it is their job; I get it. But damn.
The line got shorter and shorter; it was nearly my turn to go. I was afraid that if I took a step toward these officers, I might either pee myself or cry, who knows.
I took a deep breath and tried to remind myself of the previous encounters. It usually went like this: The officer would fire off extremely personal questions back to back, and the individual would start to get defensive and confused, which made the officer get even angrier. It’s how you’d expect a normal person to respond. But I wasn’t going to respond the same way. I had a plan.
I guarantee you these officers never get treated nicely, so I was going to be the nicest person these officers ever met. There were four stations, each doing questioning and searches. Three were occupied, but this one particular officer had just finished a search and called me up next. She was a nightmare—probably the meanest one. I hadn’t seen her smile once. “Here we go. Oh sh*t,” I mumbled to myself. Sweating profusely, I managed to put on the biggest smile I could. As I approached her desk, her eyes were about as scary as the pits of hell. I gulped in fear.
However, before she could get a word in, I made sure to speak first. And with the warmest smile, I said, “Hi, I’m Wyatt. What’s your name?” Immediately, I could tell I caught her off guard (pun intended). She very unenthusiastically replied with her name. But again, before she could start questioning me, I asked her how her day was going. This time she replied pleasantly and asked me how mine was going. I saw her take a deep breath and start to relax.
Of course, she still did her job and questioned me, but with much more respect than the others. At one point, she asked me why I was traveling to Canada, and I responded with my planned itinerary. But then I asked her what her favorite spot was in Vancouver (as that’s the place I was vacationing in). And she told me some brief but awesome stories.
I quite literally got her to talk about herself. I took a genuine interest in her—probably something no one has ever done while she was working. And by the end, she told me to enjoy my trip, and guess what?! She SMILED. I GOT THE ONE OF THE MEANEST OFFICERS THERE TO SMILE! If that’s not a testament as to how much you can do with some kindness, I don’t know what is.
Meanwhile, my brother (whom I was traveling with) was pulled to the side and questioned for warrants and DUIs. Luckily, he didn’t have any. Let’s just say he doesn’t smile quite as much as I do.
As I mentioned, when most people are hammered with personal and somewhat insulting questions, they get defensive—they decide to fight back. If you want things to go your way, however, you must do the exact opposite.
It’s very easy to let pride and ego consume you, because ultimately, that’s what causes the outrage. But when you suck that crap down, it actually improves your life exponentially. When you can meet evil with good, when you can approach irritation with patience, you start to develop the most powerful mind one can have.
Eventually, you become so unbothered that almost nothing upsets you. And when you have a goal, when you understand to only engage in actions that yield positive results, you live an incredibly prosperous life.
So please, the next time someone is a little rude to you or makes a snarky comment, remember that barking back doesn’t make the situation better. In fact, it only makes it worse. Hold back your pride and ego and learn to de-escalate the situation. Approach people—even the ones who don’t deserve it—with kindness. It will change your life (and make it easier to get past border patrol).
PS - It's a good thing I made it across the border, because this steak and lobster was incredible. The view wasn't bad, either!
Until next week,
—Wyatt
